Ode to The Slime

Liberty SlimeEden Slime

It all started for a mere 99 cents

A simple reward for a poopin event

you ran to the potty

I ran to the store

for slime in a bottle

who could want anything more?


It was small.

It was purple.

It did not stink.

So why is it bubbling, out of my sink?


It was soft.

It was cool.

It’s lid could close.

So why is it stuffed, inside the dog’s nose?


And what in the name of parenting,

caused me to think

that buying more products,

to make this Slime thing,

would be educational?

Would be fun?

Lord help me

there’s Borax,

there’s glue stuck like gum,

I mixed it with shaving cream!

It’s attached to my thumbs!

each child for themselves

everyone run!


Ok, sit back

Let’s take a deep breath

They’ll thank me one day…isn’t that right?

I can scrub the floor, when they’re asleep tonight.

And smile on Facebook

And say, ‘oh how I’m gonna miss this.’

But, first, who wrapped that slime

around the cat’s dish?


ALJ 2017