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Scribbles on Life with Humans

The Coldest War (Excerpt)

woman on rock platform viewing city
Photo by picjumbo.com on Pexels.com

 

“Tidal waves don’t beg forgiveness

Crashed and on their way

Father he enjoyed collisions; others walked away

A snowflake falls in may.

And the doors are open now as the bells are ringing out.”

-Pearl Jam Man Of The Hour

 

Ch. 1 

In 1991 the Cold war ended both in Russia and in my home.

I stood at the end of his bed, eyes focused on his swollen, purple ankles. My mother finished massaging cream over his cracked heals. She let go of one foot, then the other.  But it made no difference now. His athlete’s foot was dying too.

He shifted in the hospital bed and sat cross legged as normal. He looked so normal. Like he was about to dig into a fat, brown, bag of Alaskan King Crab.  But this time there was no brown bag protectively nestled in the curve of his bent legs. This time a hospital ventilation bag hummed a mournful tune behind him.  “Smoker!” “Don’t smoke!” “Smoker!” “Don’t smoke!”   His last lecture to me.

“See you in the morning.”  I could hardly hear the hoarse words drug across chapped lips.  He must have noticed my dumb look cause he said it again.  This time, his chin rose with more bravado and aided in summoning his baritone. “See you in the morning.”

His message was clear.  I was dismissed. Free to go. So I left with a, “Ya, k dad.”  And walked alone down the hospital hall, out to my gold Honda Civic hatchback, where I tightened my bike rack and went to buy books for my freshman year of University.  

I never saw him in the morning. I knew I wouldn’t. Unless, in his creative way, he’d been being figurative and using the word  morning symbolically for,  never again on this damned dark earth.  

Come to think of it, that is probably exactly what he meant. But see you in the morning was just so much more convenient at the time. His lungs finally giving out from one too many Camel Lights while watching John Wayne movies and being cool in the 60’s.

I wish we had texted. He would’ve loved text.

“Cu n the mornin…” He could have said. Then maybe a few ‘x’es and ‘o’s, cause he was always better at writing his feelings to us. Especially his little girls.

“Mourn n…”  

That’s what I I would have texted someone… had  anyone I known owned a cell phone that cloudy January day in 1991. The morning I learned I would never have a father again. 

“…Mourn n…” Ya. I would have texted my feelings. Cause I’m like him. And besides, how else does an  eighteen year old cope?

I knew how it was going to happen. I had felt it. Like I feel what’s happening now.  In that place within my bones that isn’t owned by my veins, nerves or tendons.  That space for IT.  The hollow where what some might call a sixth sense lives.  That hollow where feelings and facts join hands and skip through my body, jump rope over my heart and decorate my brain with dreams of things before they actually happen.  

I knew he’d died. Before he died.  I was laying in bed awake before the phone woke up the rest of the house. Before my mother decided not to say, “Your father’s gone to heaven baby.”  She’d save that for the end of my first day of University. 

“Your father’s gone to heaven baby.”  She said after dinner that night.  Like she told me about the end of the cold war.

“The Berlin Wall’s come down baby. The Cold war is ending.”  

But I had already seen it, written about it.  Don’t ask me how. I just knew.  Like I know now. Dreams flutter past my eyes, butterflies before a storm, and tell me I have cancer before I’m ever diagnosed. Tell me my dad’s dead before the phone rings. Tell me, The Cold War has ended. Why? Cuz I’m kinda a freak. 

As usual, my tears the day my father died were lost in trying to reason out the shadowy facts my mind throws at me before things actually happen. That day I simply finished eating, went silently into my room, folded cloths and when the house was asleep once again, I wrote and wrote some more. Did what I do to make sense of things.  And grew up without him. 

 

 

Four Foundational Ways Jesus Loved His Enemies

 

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Love Is Not Self Seeking

Matthew 5:43-48 (NKJV)

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

This concept of loving our enemy is more than a great thought by a Leader respected amongst every culture. It’s a calling on the Christian life. A calling given to us from God himself.  If we are honest, we walk away from Matt. 5:43-48 both nodding our head in agreement and hanging our head in defeat. We know The Sermon On The Mount is the skeletal outline of our God’s heart for humanity and that we as Christians are called to model that heart. Yet we also know how hard it is to love well those closest to us, let alone our enemy.  Our Leader lead the charge on this for us. How can we be equipped to follow?

We live in a day and age where we can “unfriend” those who simply bug us. Maybe they have differing parenting techniques, homeopath preferences, leadership styles or Denominational affiliations. We can easily be drawn into internet trolling of trolls who troll us or our spouses and once we find the offender, we can block every avenue of their contact with us. I recently encountered a group of white supremacist who said hateful comments on twitter about my mixed race family. I’m afraid I did not apply the message of Matt. 5:43-48. I wish I had. Instead I followed the law of Twitter. I responded in what I thought was a clever comeback, drove my enemy to frustration and then blocked them. “Touché!” I thought. But I had led no one closer to the heart of God.

It’s the temptation of every human to love ourselves first and others fifth.  Those who offend, cause trouble, intimidate, or set themselves up against us we “Block” virtually, emotionally or physically.  Yet if we are consistently only ever exposed to those who are exactly like us, then it follows that we are still only loving ourselves. Loving our enemy hasn’t even entered into the equation yet.

What must transpire in our heart to get us to the point where we manage not to simply hold back our finger from the “Unfriend” button, but where we actually LOVE our enemy? What equipment has Christ left us with to follow Him in this calling?

4 Foundational Ways Jesus Loved his enemies

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Matthew 5-43-48 has four key actions we are to take toward our enemy.

   Love…Bless…Do good…Pray… 

  1. Love: Jesus didn’t seek to protect himself.  His calling was to seek and to save the lost. Even those he knew were betraying him. There are those Judas characters in every leadership team. How do I know this? Because we each have the power to become the Judas once we get focused on self preservation rather than seeking to save the lost. Jesus kissed Judas long before Judas betrayed him with a kiss. Judas was able to get so close to Jesus because Jesus kept drawing him in. Christ didn’t allow the actions of those who were weak in their sin to define his own behavior toward them. Rather, His behavior remained the same regardless. He was gong to seek the lost, even if it killed him.
  2. Bless: Jesus embraced  those who He could have been tempted to “Other”. Those who were not accepted by anyone were embraced and blessed by Christ. The Samaritan woman was seen by the Jews as a half breed at best. By Men she was seen as a woman with no rights and no worth. By women she was seen as a woman who couldn’t manage to stay married. This was a day and age where women could be disposed of for simply not pleasing their husband. She had no power to divorce, but had been divorced five times. Five men had found her unpleasing to them and so rejected her.  At the Well Jesus teaches us to identify and embrace those we are “Othering” in our lives. Those who haven’t even made it to our Facebook page. Those who we’d easily find ourselves walking over to the other side of the road to avoid. We all have those people in our lives. What would happen if we sat down and got to know those we are “Othering” and found out ways we could bless them?
  1. Do Good: Jesus didn’t allow the fear of Satan’s power to dictate who He’d love.    His love for the lost was greater than his love of his own reputation, his own safety and his own comfort. Consider the Demoniac. There could be no greater spiritual outcast than a crazy naked man, living amongst the graves and feeding off the decaying flesh of the dead. We have our social/spiritual outcasts of our day too. They are the ones hiding outside the walls of social and spiritual acceptability because they are so dominated by Satan’s plan. We know them in our lives as the ones being the most hostile toward us. The ones causing pain to themselves and anyone near them. Jesus didn’t focus on the evil coming out of the man. He focused on the healing he wanted to see in the soul and he responded to the soul not the situation.
  1. Pray: Christ Prayed forgiveness for those who had it out for him. He didn’t waste his time defending himself. Rather, Christ saw those who hurt him as needing healing and he prayed into their lives.   In Matt 27:44, the thief began his time on the cross blaspheming and mocking Jesus.  But at some point, he changed his tune and began defending Christ.  Christ never defended himself. The first recorded words of Christ on the Cross are, “Father Forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).  Perhaps it was hearing this that changed this enemy of God into a disciple. Perhaps simply hearing Christ pray forgiveness for his enemies, got the thief thinking about the concept of being forgiven. Perhaps that prayer was wisely spoken aloud by Christ for that very reason. We can never underestimate our prayers for those who are hostile toward us. They transform us and as we’re transformed, we see our enemy with new eyes.  God’s eyes. As C.S. Lewis wisely wrote, “I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me.”

I love the way The Message translates Matthew 5:43-48 for us to apply.

 “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

48 “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

Let’s keep growing!

Talks On The Way To School-Mama, You Made Me a Christian

libbysmiles“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”  1John 1:4

 

Here we go again. My kids floor me with their thoughts on faith, race, contradictions in humanity, and today…Marshmallows. Don’t get me started on the argument about batman and Jesus both needing to wear underpants. In the words of my 3 year old, “DIST-GUSTIG!”

Today’s insights on what makes a Christian, come from my 8 year old…

“Mommy not all the kids at my school are Christian.”

“No baby. They wouldn’t be. A kid doesn’t become a Christian just because their parents are.  They have to choose it for themselves.”

“Yes. But you made me a Christian.”

“No, you don’t have to be one. Just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean you have to be one.”

“Yes it does.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Yes it does”

“No it doesn’t”

“But you made me one. So now I’m one.”

“Baby, another person can’t force someone else to have faith. You have to decide if you believe Christianity is the truth.”

“But I do… because you made me a Christian.”

“Do you want to be a Christian?”

“Yes. Of course. But that’s because you made me one. You took me to Church. You pray with me.”

“Yes, I will always pray. I will always hope you see Christianity as the truth. But I will love you no matter what. I can’t force you to love God. Love is not forced. Not if it’s a true relationship. And Christianity is a relationship with God. A love relationship.”

“Yes, but if you didn’t take me to church, I’d not become a Christian.”

“Well, like Keith Green said, ‘Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to McDonalds makes you a hamburger.’ ”

“But what about Marshmallows?”

“Huh?”

“What if I want to be a Marshmallow? I could eat a lot of marshmallows.”

“Ok.”

And there you have it.

Children raised in a Christian home 101. What about Marshmallows?

It’s the ultimate church kid question. What about…?

To be honest, it’s the ultimate human question. What if I were to do this? What would have happened if I had been raised in a different home? A different country?  With different parents? Could I have become a Marshmallow? Just M A Y B E?

Even the child of an Atheist will ask these types of questions ( maybe not the marshmallow part, that kind of crazy is reserved for me) and we have to be ok with it. No matter our belief system, our children will one day do their own soul searching. Yes, we provide our own wisdom along the way. Mostly, I pray I don’t provide her with dogma and legalism, but a soul searching heart that digs deep, is sometimes confused, but also comes back around to find her peace in God. I don’t want her to have her mama’s relationship with God. But her own.

She doesn’t have the same relationship as I do with her father. That would be just plain weird. She has her own relationship with her dad. Based on her interaction with him. So I hope it is with her God.

So as her mama, all I can really do for her spiritually is pray for her, “God speak to her soul. Be near to her. Let her know you in a deeper way than I ever have. Help her to love truth and search hard after it.”

And I rest in that…maybe a few protection prayers after she eats all those Marshmallows too!

But yes, I want her to think about Marshmallows! I want her to think about her Atheist friend and her Muslim friend and anything else. As all good parents do, I will teach her according to what I have learn to be true. In the end though, I want her to know why she doesn’t believe in certain things, as much as she knows why she does believe. Covering all her beliefs, like a candy shell, I pray will be love…even to those who don’t want to be Marshmallows.

And if one day, she walks up to me and says, “Mama, I am going to be a Christian And a Marshmallow!”

I will love her just as much and say, “Ok Babe.”

Mama, What’s a Hypocrite?

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Song of the Month: Good Monsters by Jars Of Clay

 

 

“Mama, what’s a Hypocrite?”   My eight year old daughter asked as we braved the morning drive to school. I’d just demonstrated how to be a hypocrite by calling someone else one.

“It’s another word for Humanity.” I said in the spirit of true sarcasm.

She knew my tones well enough to respond with a sarcastic laugh herself and say, “No really, what does it mean?”

So I gave her the less realistic Webster definition. “It is someone who says one thing while does the opposite. Like, “Hey don’t cut in front of me”, but then they cut in front of someone else.

“Like that guy just cut us off?”

“Yes. When if I did that to him, he’d probably shoot me.”  She laughed again at her still brilliant mama. But then I felt the awesome pang of guilt due to all Christians who say one thing while doing another.

“We are all hypocrites Libber. I was one when I called that man a hypocrite. I tell you not to call names, but then I just did it. So…sorry.”

I proceeded to go on with my mama diatribe about this is why we need God to help show us our blind spots, how we have a hard time seeing things from the right perspective when our eyes are on ourselves…and blah…blah…blah…

She now tuned me out as we approached the end of school car line and said, “ K Mom. Quick. Pray for me.”

So I did what I do everyday at that spot and prayed weakly…”Lord help us not to be hypocrites. Protect my girl today and give her joy.” Amen.

As I drove away I couldn’t help but think about it all. Hypocrisy. The Science of it all came to me first.

The Evolutionist and Sociologist would say we are the way we are because it is a matter of Evolution. Survival of the fittest. A baby screams and fights for the things that are theirs and they need to survive. We grow to do the same throughout our life. The weakest in the pack doesn’t survive. Or do they? Which pack are we talking about? Which continent and in what situation?

If we use this thought to apply to the guy on the road with me today…well, he ended up getting just as stuck in traffic as me. Right in front of me to be exact. And the flailing of his arms seemed to show me:

1. He was going to give himself a heart attack.

2.  His selfishness was going to get him killed in a car accident. Maybe.

If we use Cultural Sociology to interpret his actions, then we say, well, it looks like he wasn’t raised right. His parents perhaps didn’t care enough to give him the values of our culture and that caused him to not consider others or obey the Laws of our society. He drove down the shoulder to get ahead of everyone. That’s just plan wrong in our society. This is probably just one of many ways he’s been taught to cheat those around him.  It was the family culture he was raised in that brought him to this ugly reality in his life.

If we use Freud or some form of Psychology to interpret his actions, then he is mostly likely suffering from some sort of envy of something. His feelings of less-than-ness are causing his narcissism.

The Humanitarian will say it’s because he’s not found his purpose yet. When he finds the joy of serving others and loving others, he will change.

The Christian will call it his sin nature. The desire to be God above all else.

.

My thoughts went on. Why is this man such a dud? And why do I feel justified in judging him when I can be the same way? Why am I such a hypocrite?

Unfortunately, the Christian worldview doesn’t stop us from being hypocrites. In fact, our high standards almost make it inevitable that we’ll excel in hypocrisy.  Hypocrisy occurs when our  ideals are put to the test.  It occurs in the moment we come face to face with something that seems more pleasing to us than our ideals. It felt better to me (in the moment) to call that man a name rather than hold to my Christian ideals.

The fact of the matter is, we all  live like evolutionists, while hoping others will live like Christian humanitarians.  In our brokenness, we seek first to be the fittest in our kingdom and expect others to live out The Golden Rule. Yet it seems to me, the actual fittest among us are those who strive to live The Golden Rule. As weak as it may seem on the surface, the one living for the advancement of others actually wins. They are not stressed with self-survival, the need to be first, and the frustration brought on by the front-of-the-line-frenzy.

There is a reason why we all love the great humanitarians of history. Just thinking of Mother Teresa, Amy Carmichael, or MLKJ makes me feel enlightened. Peaceful. Christ-like.  Yet the strength of my heroes is not in their power, their judgment, or their cynicism. Their influence was that they lay down their life for the life of someone else.  Someone seen as less than. And THIS is what made them the STRONGEST in our human pack.  The lives of those I admire exhibit that culture-less truth that Christ modeled to us. “Treat others how you want to be treated” (Matt. 7:12). Even non-Christians like Gandhi fought their own hypocrisy with this Christian mantra. Gandhi vowed not to eat until those at war in his country began treating one another how they wanted to be treated. Rather than striving like the evolutionist does to be on top of the trash heap, those who live out the Golden Rule build a whole new world paradigm.

In letting someone go in front of me, I will never be cut off. In laying down my life, my life can never be stolen. In not striving for more, I will never feel less.

So how do we conquer our own Hypocrisy?

1. First we must be honest about it. Confess it. Ask God to help us identify it. Or ask our kids!

 

2. Change our perspective on what we perceive to be beneficial to us. When we truly begin to live out Matt 7:12, we will begin to defeat our own hypocrisy.  If we must strive,  strive to treat others how we want to be treated, and experience the freedom.

 If I’m going to teach my daughter anything that matters in this life, it will be this; that identifying and eliminating hypocrisy starts with me.

 

 A Perspective From the Trees 

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Some people enjoying looking at the wood while avoiding the forest.  I suppose it’s the same kind of characters who still find the old adage, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water” both humorous and wise. How the vision of a soapy baby sliding over a window ledge followed by bath water, ever got absorbed into our wise English sayings, is beyond me.

It’s funny because who would be so idiotic to forget to take a baby out of the bath before chucking the water? But wise because you know some poor, overly stressed soul, must have once done it for the saying to have been born.  I suppose it’s just a clever and slightly kinder way to say, “Don’t be stupid, stupid.”

“Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water” someone snarked at me today.  Really? I wanted to snark back. Can’t you find some twenty-first century wisdom for me to hang onto lady?  If I got rid of my baby with the bathwater this evening, that’d mean she’d have to swirl round and round the base of the tub, like a cartoon character, until she was swallowed down the drain along with the last bit of bath water…so no. No I won’t. It’s physically impossible. Thanks for the advice though.

…And so we persist to cary on with old traditions, even when they no longer translate. Why?  Cause we like the heart of the message.  Sometimes in life it is nice to see things for what they no longer are, but what we have traditionally explained them to be.  Just as it’s sometimes nice to look at the branches of the tree from the tree. Resting in it, on it, among it.

Life is about perspective. I’ve been told I’m a wood-looker.  An old saying sayer. I like to crawl right up close to things, especially religious things or political things and try to find a new perspective I’ve somehow missed. Maybe I’ve missed it because I love my traditions. Maybe I’ve missed it because of my own sociological or emotional blind spots. Logically I know we all have these. So I look. I climb right on up into the tree of thought and shave off a small piece of bark and prob.

Right now I’m doing this to the Christian church in America. Really this means I’m examining me and my place in it. Because I am part of it. But I feel as small as Zacchaeus, and as desperate to see Jesus.  How is it that we can be surrounded by Christ followers, yet still not see Him?

I was out of the Christian church seen in America for about twelve years and now I’m back. Maybe it’s still culture shock, but I feel very lost as a believer in America.  I don’t get it.  I am part of it. But I don’t understand what we think we are or what our mission is. Or what our message is. I’ve been a part of the American Christian movement now for five years. It seems we are really, really, good at trading Christians from our churches. And really, really, good at making fun of ourselves for our perceived weaknesses.  But I’m not sure if we know who we are anymore. In the words of the Spice Girls, “What do we want? Really really want?”

So I did what I do and I went hunting for perspective. I pretended for a week I was no longer a Christian. I lost my faith. I knew very little of Jesus and even less about the Bible. And I tried to start over from scratch.

I decided to:

  1. Listen to our talk radio, music, and adds
  2. Look at our social media
  3. Observe what Christians talked about the most. Learn their favorite movies and topics.

What did I find?

1. Talk radio, music, and adds                                                                                                                               I was told how to get out of debt by the Christian radio, and also how I could boost my evangelical witness by injecting botox into my frown lines and how to transfer my IRA into and IRA equivalent.

I was informed how to think about Zionists, vote Republican, which people groups to stand against and who to be afraid of and how America was pretty much going to hell in a hand bag cause it was no longer run by Evangelical Republicans…like it use to be…

2. In Social Media

There was self help, religious group promotion, promotion of sales items, books, magazines, personalities, not as many Charities as I had thought I’d see. A lot of church groups, but virtually no free Christian material being promoted.

3. Christians top topics 

The irritating qualities of those close to them, food intolerances, money, politics, weight loss, weight gain, health issues, debt, the end of the world.

Media favorites :  Apocalypse, reality shows, talent shows, food shows.

Then I listened to the non religious.

  1. The non-Christian talk radio, music, adds
  2. Looked at social media
  3. Observed what they talked about most.

It wasn’t too different. Less Republicanism and Zionists, but the same passion for politics, food, diets, debt, and “reality” shows. Same promotion of books and selling of material on social media. A few more good works groups promoting green living and charities.

What do we want? Do we really really want as a Church in America?

It seems we want to be thin, free from interpersonal responsibilities and conflicts, financial security, and more “me time”.

So what did I do with my Christianity after this week of research?

Well I definitely didn’t Throw the baby out with the bath water,  but I did try to make a conscious effort to not be sucked into the American Christian culture vortex. I chose not to be political on Facebook, but to be more intentional in the spiritual encouragement I was offering, AND feeding myself with. I opted for less “reality” tv and more reality….and I thought.  I’m still thinking.

What do I want? What do I really really want?

To understand Christ’s heart for this world more. That’s it.  He Loved it so much that He gave up EVERYTHING for it.  And I’m suppose to be following His lead.

Anything that does not lead me in that direction is a waste of my “me time”.

More Questions to think on:

Has the church as a whole in America become the Temple?

Are we one big money table that needs to be turned over?

Are we just trying to find new and better ways to make money in Jesus’ name? What does us knowing Jesus mean to the life of those nearest to us?

50 Shades of Jones

Song of the Month: Jamie Grace- Every bit of wonderful

Recently, the huge twitterer that I am, I noticed I had a new follower. A. Real. Life. New follower! Now I have a grand total of 72. Just call me Big Stuff. So I checked out my lovely Mr./Ms. shaunsm41922812, who my husband insists is a Bot sent out from China, and guess what?

Every one of the people s/he was following was called Andrea Jones. 50 Shades of Andrea Jones in fact. All shapes, colors and sizes…but unfortunately for me, way too many with much better butts. I know this how? Cause, well, I saw all the Andrea Joneses out there. And Ladies, You have very nice everythings…

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What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Song of the Month: Glory- by Common and John Legend

images

Christian life equation:

  If Jesus = Love

  And

 Christian= Disciple of Jesus
Then

Christian= Disciple of love

So why do we sometimes seem so angry? When we represent something, whether it’s God or a chocolate chip cookie, wouldn’t it make sense to consider our curb appeal?

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To be Angry at God…Or Not To Be…

Photo Credit-Rachel Peterson…Thanks rad mama! IMG_5313

Song of the month-The Unmaking

by Nichole Norderman

(No Spoiler alert. The back of the book I refer to here tells you more than my references do:)

I just set down a fairly popular memoir that has taken me some time to get through. Not because the author wasn’t a good writer, or because the life issues didn’t somehow connect with mine, but because initially, I just couldn’t connect with the young woman the memoir was written about. The Little Way of Ruthie Leming is the life journey, as seen through the eyes of her brother, of a young southern woman battling cancer, and the lessons she passes on to others.

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Three Pick Up lines Every Church Planting Husband Needs To Use On His Wife

forrest-gump-jenny Song of the Month-

Thinking Out Loud:  Ed Sheeran

Note to Reader:

If these lines don’t work…Just try Forest Gumping it.

“I may not be a smart man Jenny, But I know what LOVE is.”

Three pick up lines every Church Planting Husband needs to use on his wife.

  1. I See you.
  2. I hear you.
  3. I understand.

First practice them like a mantra. Say them as you fall asleep, while you’re driving alone, or shaving in front of the mirror.  Then use them on her, and wait. It doesn’t really matter when you start to use them, just to do it. Preferably before you’re neck high in hot water. But I believe these lines work even then.

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How Not To Get Punched By Families Who’ve Adopted

Song of the month: Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift

November is Happy Adoption Month!

November is also Happy Premie Month!

This month I’d like to celebrate our Little Eden Hope Alexia Jones, who we Adopted at 1 lb 2 oz July 2013.

In honor of Our Super Girl Eden, I’d like to share a helpful list our Adoption agency shared with us. Before I adopted, I never thought about the effect my simple statements could have on those within the adoption community.  The list below identifies a few ways we can take notice of the language we use when speaking about adoption, or to families who have been made through adoption.

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